Establish your own credibility at the beginning of the speech. Also show the audience how your topic is important to them.
I think you are focusing too much on the change of order for CPR. What if the audience has no idea what the order should be in the first place. All the ABC to CAB stuff is only confusing since you haven't even described how to do CPR yet. Why not just explain what the present suggested order is. Then you can just throw in a line about how in the past there was a different order, but now this one is better. Putting too much emphasis on the old order can be confusing and dangerous. You don't know what the audience will remember after a few days, weeks, or months. It seems like you present ABC first, the audience may remember this ABC order more deeply because it was presented first, and when it comes time to perform CPR, this is what they may do.
As a speech that teaches a process, you need to emphasize the correct process. You don't review the process in your conclusion. A SEVERE failing of the speech. You need to determine your goal for the speech. Are you trying to just chat about the topic of CPR, or do you expect your audience to really understand the skill be able to use it? If you are just chatting about it, why should the audience care? You don't expect them to be in a situation in which they are unconscious and in need of CPR, and then have them suddenly wake up and say, "Excuse me, but you're performing CPR in the wrong order. That's all, I'm going to go unconscious again, so make sure you get the order right, my life depends on it. Carry on, good night!"
References are not in the standard APA or MLA format.
I think your topic is extremely challenging because it is more academic than others’ topics. Your presentation is smooth and clear but I think it’s plain sometimes. I think one of you can act like the patient and the other person can describe it in detail, which can enhance the interests. In addition, the pronunciations of some words are difficult for me to understand. This informative speech is still good but some imitations can make your speech more intriguing.
Sonia's evaluation:
Your lively beginning really impresses the audience! You clearly get across the messages and demonstrate the steps of CPR with catchy words. Your topic is challenging and easily to bore the audience but surprisingly, the transition is smooth, leaving no feeling of dullness. The alternate act and speech between you and Sue deepen the impressions as well. In addition, the small slips of CPR steps passed around at the end of the speech are useful to help the audience who missed some context of your speech.
Perhaps next time you can slow down the speed to prevent a feeling of rush and hastiness. And you can improve the eye contact with the audience.
Overall, it's a enlightening speech with both information and fun in it.
2010/10/6
Sophia’ evaluation: Your speech was the most dramatic one; you made your speech a performance rather than mere an oral speaking. The opening did refresh me from dozing off. At first, I thought your topic would be boring, but you really astonished me by showing your speech in such a creative way. However, I thought your speech is less informative than others. It was more like an instruction of CPR rather than a speech on CPR since you provided not so abundant and precise information for your fear of boring audience with too many professional terms. Thus, you have to balance the academic part and interesting part of your speech. For Jeff’s personal comment, even though you were a little bit nervous, you still managed to control the atmosphere well especially when you’re acting as the patient. Your speech pace is moderate, and your pronunciation is clear. Yet, sometimes that your staring at the draft made me feel you were reciting a text rather than telling a speech.
Establish your own credibility at the beginning of the speech. Also show the audience how your topic is important to them.
I think you are focusing too much on the change of order for CPR. What if the audience has no idea what the order should be in the first place. All the ABC to CAB stuff is only confusing since you haven't even described how to do CPR yet. Why not just explain what the present suggested order is. Then you can just throw in a line about how in the past there was a different order, but now this one is better. Putting too much emphasis on the old order can be confusing and dangerous. You don't know what the audience will remember after a few days, weeks, or months. It seems like you present ABC first, the audience may remember this ABC order more deeply because it was presented first, and when it comes time to perform CPR, this is what they may do.
As a speech that teaches a process, you need to emphasize the correct process. You don't review the process in your conclusion. A SEVERE failing of the speech. You need to determine your goal for the speech. Are you trying to just chat about the topic of CPR, or do you expect your audience to really understand the skill be able to use it? If you are just chatting about it, why should the audience care? You don't expect them to be in a situation in which they are unconscious and in need of CPR, and then have them suddenly wake up and say, "Excuse me, but you're performing CPR in the wrong order. That's all, I'm going to go unconscious again, so make sure you get the order right, my life depends on it. Carry on, good night!"
References are not in the standard APA or MLA format.
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For Sonia and Mallory's speech:
I think your topic is extremely challenging because it is more academic than others’ topics. Your presentation is smooth and clear but I think it’s plain sometimes. I think one of you can act like the patient and the other person can describe it in detail, which can enhance the interests. In addition, the pronunciations of some words are difficult for me to understand. This informative speech is still good but some imitations can make your speech more intriguing.
Sonia's evaluation:
Your lively beginning really impresses the audience! You clearly get across the messages and demonstrate the steps of CPR with catchy words. Your topic is challenging and easily to bore the audience but surprisingly, the transition is smooth, leaving no feeling of dullness. The alternate act and speech between you and Sue deepen the impressions as well. In addition, the small slips of CPR steps passed around at the end of the speech are useful to help the audience who missed some context of your speech.
Perhaps next time you can slow down the speed to prevent a feeling of rush and hastiness. And you can improve the eye contact with the audience.
Overall, it's a enlightening speech with both information and fun in it.
2010/10/6
Sophia’ evaluation:
Your speech was the most dramatic one; you made your speech a performance rather than mere an oral speaking. The opening did refresh me from dozing off. At first, I thought your topic would be boring, but you really astonished me by showing your speech in such a creative way. However, I thought your speech is less informative than others. It was more like an instruction of CPR rather than a speech on CPR since you provided not so abundant and precise information for your fear of boring audience with too many professional terms. Thus, you have to balance the academic part and interesting part of your speech.
For Jeff’s personal comment, even though you were a little bit nervous, you still managed to control the atmosphere well especially when you’re acting as the patient. Your speech pace is moderate, and your pronunciation is clear. Yet, sometimes that your staring at the draft made me feel you were reciting a text rather than telling a speech.